I often wonder if I’m being a “good” mom. Considering that I’m still growing and healing from things in my past, is it possible for me to give my kids exactly what they need?! How could a person with so many imperfections raise two confident girls? Can’t help but wonder if my imperfections will become a part of their foundation. Will my challenges become their challenges? How can I not teach them out of hurt?
Although my girls are still young I find myself tempted to tell them things like:
1. People can’t be trusted
2. Don’t let people run over you
I would like to believe I’m teaching them “valuable” lessons. Ways to protect themselves, so they won’t experience the hurt and disappointment that I’m still sorting through and healing from. But in reality I would only be sowing negative seeds that will hinder their ability to enter into relationships the way Jesus did and still does. I would be teaching them to protect themselves instead of allowing God to. How unfortunate is it that out of my own hurt, I’m tempted to put holes in my girls spiritual foundation??
Instead of giving into fleshly life lessons, I’ve decided the best lesson I can teach them is to stay at the feet of Jesus. I’m committed to living an honest life before them, as I lay at the feet of Jesus. Yes, I’m their mother but, I’m still His daughter. And if I remove myself from Him…I am simply a dead soul slowly eating away at who he has called them to be.
Let me never be more concerned with being their mother, than allowing God to guide my parenting. A good friend recently told me that you’re always a new mom. Every day brings a new experience or challenge. My greatest hope is knowing that I have Holy Spirit to assist me in being the best I can be. I might miss it sometimes (we all do), but it’s nothing like knowing not only will my kids forgive me but so will my father.
God’s daughter. His wife. Their mother. Your friend.